Wednesday 16 January 2013

A Lonely Traveler










If life was analogous to a journey, then I am indeed a lonely traveler. I have a confession to make
that is rather embarrassing. I have never found love in my life. I have fallen in love, yes. But I have
 neverhad my feelings reciprocated. I have made overtures to exquisite specimens of the opposite
 gender in a gentlemanly manner, but I have not succeeded. When I look at my inability to attract
 girls, I think it reveals something about myself. Something of my character.



For the longest time, I would blame this deficiency on me. I would find the excuse that I am simply
 not good looking enough, or that I simply lack personality. But recently I have come to realize one
thing. The excuses that I make up to explain away my romantic failings indicate one thing. A lack
of self-confidence on my part. Since I lacked confidence, I have already lost in some ways.
When I approached those girls to ask them out, I did not exude that aura of confidence.
 It is essentially the story of my life. I lacked the confidence to jump at opportunities that
 life threw at me. When I was bullied in high school, I lacked the confidence to tell my bully
 to back off. In my university career, I lacked the confidence to partake in various extra-curricular
activities.


But still my heart craves for love. It is funny, in my teenage years, I would indulge myself in various
sexual  fantasies. But now, I often dream of holding a girl in my arms. I feel sort of empty. I have this
 need of someone wanting me in their life and me wanting them.

As I tread this beaten path alone, maybe I will find a companion.

4 comments:

  1. Just remain true to yourself and don't ever give up on love. Love won't find you, you"ll have to keep looking for it.

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    1. Thank you Purba. that was a beautiful thing to say.

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  2. First of all, that's a lovely picture. There's still a long way to go. I'm sure this traveller will find companionship and love along the way. Here's wishing you the best, for that too. :)

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    Replies
    1. That's a sweet thought. Thank you for commenting and supporting my blog

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